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It was raining when we arrived at the museu Picasso in Barcelona, so she offered to check the umbrellas while we waited in the gift shop. The coat check room was surrounded by glass walls and you can guess what happened next. I heard demonic laughing and looked up to her nose perfectly placed sideways against her face, with a red drop of blood suspended from the tip a live portrait. A friend was having his brand of fun when he placed a large rubber ball into a dark space for which it was not made. (He had to endure a painful surgical extraction.) The world must be a fantastical place for him, filled with wanton objects like like that come-hither ball, that flirty shampoo bottle I won't go on. At the tail end of a vaca in London, I was hurriedly getting ready for my cab ride to the airport. Naked in an empty, super-deep bath tub, I was rinsing my hair with a rubber hose connected to the faucets when the hose slipped off the hot faucet. It was pointing straight at my privates and slashed deep burns that cut right through my flesh. Every time I tried to climb out of the tub, another searing ribbon of pain sliced me. I finally got up and out, by that time practiy filleted. Had a bad head cold and roommate was "helping" by filling a big basin with boiling water and a mixed-in jar of Vicks. I didn't know she'd placed iit right next to my bed until I popped up, put my wool-socked feet into it and prompted passed out from the pain. The Vicks sealed the heat under my socks and my feet boiled. Told ER of my sulfa allergy and they misplaced that tidbit until after they'd slathered thick cream all over my blistered feet. I had a few moments of relief b4 the hives set in. I couldn't put weight on said feet for 4 weeks. Cruel to poke fun, but have you ever been in ER on Halloween night? A groaning, green-faced goblin grabbing at his gut, a guy in a football uniform drenched in blood, a slice of cheese (from a sandwich?) with a big, black eye) great.

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