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How did I let this happen. I should have never let myself get so close to you, I feel like if we stayed within our boundaries of just being friends, we would be friends for a long time. It's my fault, what was I thinking. Was I even thinking? I couldn't help my self. Maybe this is a lesson. Karma came around and got me so good that I didn't even see it coming, even though it was slapping me right in the face. Honesty I just laugh at myself for the simple fact of how good karma got me. I just look back at how me and your best friend use to be. How she really liked me, but I was okay with the fact that she was okay with the fact of just being friends with benefits. I was losing my with you because I wanted more than what we already had and so was she. I tried cutting you off after a month of knowing you because I felt helpless, so did she. But I didn't want us to stop talking and we picked up were we left off, and she did the same. I would get upset when you didn't text back or give me the attention I wanted, and so did she. I cut you off a second time but that didn't last long and you knew it would not have lasted long, the same thing happened with me and her. The third time I cut you off was the hardest for me and I'm sure it was for her. The third time I cut you off, I didn't go back and try to talk to you, but she did. She begged me, she cried, she yelled at me to stay. I felt like I was in control of her at that point, she was eating out of the palm of my hand, she downgraded herself to the point where it was okay for her to be talking to someone she really liked, knowing there wouldn't be anything more than a friendship with benefits. I on the other hand could have been talking to other females knowing that she will still stick around because she wasn't strong enough to let go of what she couldn't control. I knew if she cut me off again, eventually she'd come back. I took advantage of the fact that she liked me more than I liked her and that she was okay with acting like we were together, but without the . She wasn't the first one who held that position either. I wasn't going to let you take advantage of me. What do I look like? I'm better than that. Way better than that as a matter of fact. Yeah I miss talking to you, I miss looking at you while you stared at my " face" as you would say. I miss your kisses. Your smile. I miss your hugs. I miss the day we went a week without seeing each other and that hug that we shared when I finally saw you. I miss getting my phone blown up by you. I miss how I felt that you liked me just as much as I liked you. You said you were going to break up with him but we were getting to a point were it was okay for us to be having a secret friendship whilst you still had a relationship, that I didn't like and none of this is your fault because I let myself get close to you. I started to develop these ideas in my head of how I thought things would turn out between us. Instead of evaluating the situation with common sense, I was letting my feelings get the best of me and picturing something that I had no control over. We were so close before I stopped talking to you. We never stopped talking after the first message was exchanged. We texted everyday after I had your number in my contacts list. We talked on Instagram thru the pictures we shared through direct messages. We talked on . Snap chatted. A here and there. I loved the fact that there was always something to say to you and I still don't understand how we could talk back and forward through all these forms and still not run out of things to say. It all happened too quick. I skip your while I'm scrolling down my newsfeed on Instagram, breaking my own heart as I do so. I do just so I won't be reminded of what we used to have or at least what I though we had, we don't have it anymore. It breaks my heart when I think about how much I wanted you, how much I liked you, how much you made me happy and how now I don't even want to think about you. Right now I'm thinking about the times we shared when we first met, how beautiful it was being with you. Tears are starting to fall down my face as I type this. Can't even see right now. You made me so happy. I thought I was over you, my tears state otherwise. I hope you're not hurting as bad as I am, because this feeling is the worst. I'm so sorry. I hope it will be easy for you to forget about me. I could care less if anyone saw me crying right now. I remember how I would always make fun of guys who were heart broken about a girl. I would think they were just so soft. To me they seemed like the type of people that could never get a girl and when they did get one they would get attached easily and be heartbroken when things didn't work out. But feelings are feelings and it doesn't matter who you are how easy it is to "get" girls. If I ever find someone like you, I'll be sure to not get so close. I'll be sure to evaluate the situation and to not try talking to someone who has close connections with people I've messed with or who has a boyfriend.

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office work I would like to continue filing for you after hours, however i dont know how to get a hold of you other than just stopping by incase your happen to be working late one night. Which is not something i feel comfortable doing. Hopefully you will see this and respond. Otherwise, i suppose ill give up :)